I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
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