so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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