At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
pop tarts are not kleenex
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he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
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when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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