Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
