i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
