I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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