who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
