Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
