I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
