Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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