Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
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i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
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Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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