Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
