I puked a lego.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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