I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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