Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize