whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
