yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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