I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
