She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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