So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
