I skipped work to stalk him.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize