Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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