You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize