do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
