yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
