Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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