Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
