Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
