i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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