We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize