I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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