some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
