This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The power of my boobs compel you
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
