SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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