did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
