Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
