I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
