Apparently you make a good broom.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
