My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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