You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I don't deserve a penis
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Randomize
