epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
