i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize