Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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