Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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