i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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