the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
