There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
