How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
