I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
