i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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