called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
