12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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