So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
