I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
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ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
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How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize