It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
