I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
