I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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