Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
