Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
