I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
This is the high leading the old right now
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
