what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
