I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
