just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
