In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
