:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
