Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
