Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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