I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
