If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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