After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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