Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize